Haven't written in a while. Oops. Sorry about that. Not like there's that many people reading this anyway...are there more than five? I'll probably never know. Oh well...
Feel like a lot has happened. Oh yeah, Yom Kippur. Jewish Day of Atonement. Day of Fasting. Supposedly a day of rejoicing as well. Honestly, I'm not sure I felt much of any of that this year. I didn't ask hardly anyone for forgiveness for the wrongs I have done them the past year. I never did the Tashlich service, where we symbolically throw away our sins. And today, the day after Yom Kippur, I'm not acting any different. My morning was squandered when my alarm didn't go off, my car still isn't registered in this state, I still don't have a second job, and I've still got stuff in boxes outside my room...
...guess I'm still waiting on that rhythm, or at best desperately fighting for it. And it frustrates me, because in moments of clarity, I see all these things that I want to do, work that I actually want to get done, and I berate myself for wasting hours like I do on stupid pointless shit. But then I never seem to have that clarity or awareness in the moment, when I'm wasting that hour, or even that minute, on something that doesn't matter, like television, or some weird tidbit I found on digg.com, or watching a music video...
...maybe I should just disconnect my computer. But I need that to get some of that work that I have done. Irony?
Ok ok, enough self pity. Back to business. As a part time heretic, and someone who is simply aware of how religion works, I do not believe that just because it is the day after Yom Kippur I am stuck with my sins for the next year. Forgiveness, if it means anything, means as much on the day after the Day of Atonement as it does in the ten days preceding it, so, if I have harmed you in any way in the past year, I ask your forgiveness for it. I do not do this because I believe it is necessary to cleanse my soul, nor do I see it as a requisite to being a good person, but I do acknowlege that I am a human being, with flaws, and that its a good thing to both recognize that, and to at least make a gesture of reconciliation with those who have been hurt by my imperfections. I know that this is a very impersonal way to do it, but honestly, I have no idea who I have hurt, or how, and while I should probably just ask everyone I know to forgive me, it seems rather pointless if I don't know what I'm being forgiven for. So, again, if I have hurt you, I am sorry, and I ask your forgiveness.
What else? Oh yeah, I would have summed up my running week sometime in the past few days. Can't really do that now, don't have my running log with me. It wasn't that heavy a week, except for the killer 400 interval workout we did in the middle of the week. I felt that for a while.
I'm sure there were other things that I wanted to say, complain about, marvel at, and simply comment on, but honestly I don't remember what they were. That's what happens when you fall behind in things like this: things fall by the wayside. Actually, seems like life has a lot of that, little things that just fall by the wayside, and you might notice at a time like this when you're taking stock of things, but honestly in another few hours, it'll be out of my mind, and whatever it was that I was going to say, or record about what I had thought or experienced in the last four days, will be gone forever. Most likely anyway. Odd kind of thought, isn't it. I wonder sometimes if when we're done with life that part of heaven or whatever will be a recording of some kind of our life, where we can see EVERYTHING...what we did, what we were thinking, what could have been, what other people were thinking or doing at certain times, or maybe all the time...you know, did she really like me? What did he think of me in that moment? Was she really that offended? Did he really believe what he was saying?
I think that would be an interesting thing to see.

One thing that I do remember: For those who don't know, Bill O'Reilly is a scary scary man. He believes he is objective, when his show is one of the most blatantly biased pieces of mass media I have ever seen. Certainly more frightening than the show itself is that people watch it and believe they are getting unbiased information. It is just unbelievable how many times he'll say something along the lines of "I don't want to point fingers, but..." and then essentially point a finger, or "I don't want to lay blame without due evidence, but..." and then go ahead and lay blame without due evidence. This is simply not responsible journalism, and not even responsible editorializing. Bias isn't even a bad thing. Selling bias as unbiased however, is not only disingenuous, its dangerous if your viewership is ignorant or trusting. And I bet a lot of them are; I certainly don't question what I read in the news and the media enough.
So, enough of that, back to work...